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Chris Cohen
Chris Cohen - The Language - Live in London

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If I were a Girl
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If I were a girl Even just for a day Id roll outta bed in the morning And see just how much noise I could make Id start drying my hair Youre still asleep I dont care I put all the lights on in the bedroom Turn the TV up to full volume too Its just what us girls do If I were a girl Id spend my day being mad Id blame it on my hormones And burst out crying even when Im not sad Id say that Im fine Then not speak for the day Say nothings wrong when you ask me Then Id still be bloody angry And start arguing when you get to bed If I were a girl Id always moan bout my weight Say Im fat and ugly Even though I know Im still a size eight Id demand equal rights But then wanna walk through doors first Id say all men are perverts And then wear a stupidly revealing skirt Id say Im independent That I dont need no man Then Id expect you pay For meals and nights out we plan Id want to have it both ways, Is that really so wrong?
- 04/02/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 2
Fizzee Barstool - Dance Wiv Me Chris Cohen
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The original song* by Fizzy Barstool, Dance Wiv Me *not original
- 04/02/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Chris Cohen - I Kissed your Mum
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Why you shouldn't let Chris have a drink on a Thursday. Lyrics: I never even knew her name It was always just Mrs D I met her when we were at school And I came round to yours for tea But last night, you were out And she asked me to come in And then it happened suddenly On top of your ironing I kissed your mum and I like it The taste of old womens lipstick I used my tongue just to try it I hope you and your dad dont mind it It felt so wrong, it felt so right Your mums quite hot in a certain light I kissed your mum and I like it. I liked it That day when I didnt show for work, Was with your mum at Tescos She even lifted up her shirt, By the jersey royal potatoes Yeah shes quite old, and wrinkly too But her lips felt just like silk And she got a ladder in her tights, By the semi skimmed milk I kissed your Mum and I liked it, While we were watching countdown I used my tongue just to try it Next week well get your gran round I know its wrong, But it feels so right, Guess you and I wont be going out Friday night Your mum she is so beautiful Soft lips, dodgy hip, and a bit of stubble Cant use the bath cos she wont fit She uses , the shower, Aint no big deal at least shes clean I kissed your mum and l liked it, While you were playing Xbox We used your bed just to try it, I didnt even take off my socks, It felt so wrong, But it felt so right, But I hope you and I are still alright Cos I bedded your mum and I liked it I liked it
- 09/01/2009
- Comments: 1
- Votes: 2
Chris Cohen at the Olympic Games
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Chris Cohen's coverage of the Olympic Games.
- 09/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Bargain Hunt - Only a little more disturbed
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Chris Cohen's take on Bargain Hunt.
- 09/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Neighbours - Angus and Rachel fall out
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Angus and Rachel have a Facebook related disagreement.
- 09/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Jeremy Kyle - My Partner Ate my Baby
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Another everyday saga solved by the magical Jeremy Kyle
- 09/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Chris Cohen - Live on Setanta Sports News
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Chris Cohen live on Setanta Sports News at Christmas
- 09/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
A Team Called Palace - Chris Cohen
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Lyrics copyright 'ChrisCohenMusic' 2008 Music copyright 'The Jam' 2008 One for the Palace fans! Lyrics On Saturdays down at Selhurst Park- We'll have a drink and a moan Looking -back to all those rosey days ..
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Chris Cohen - Checkout Lady
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Oh baby, I see you looking at me on your swivelly chair by the till You want me don't ya? I was in the supermarket just the other day The Supermarket baby --
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 2
Chris Cohen at the Fairfield Halls
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A private video/audio recording of some highlights from Chris' set at the Fairfield Halls in Croydon, alongside Kevin Day and Jo Brand to support East Surrey Cancer Research.
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Chris Cohen live on Upstaged - High Vis Jacket II
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See part two of the High Vis Jacket man's tribute song.
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 1
- Votes: 1
Chris Cohen - Professional Horse Race Commentary
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Chris Cohen's professional horse racing commentary showreel.
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 1
- Votes: 2
Chris Cohen - The Language - Live in London
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See Chris perform the hit song from the 'Off the Woodwork' EP, The Language, live in London. The EP and this song are now available to buy on iTunes!
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 2
- Votes: 4
Chris Cohen live at Dingwalls
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To celebrate Chris making it through to the live show at http://www.bbc.co.uk/upstaged , enjoy this clip from his headline show at Dingwalls, London.
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 2
Chris Cohen - In the UK
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It's a hard old life living in the UK Things seem to get much harder with every day It's no surprise most people are moving away…
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
222 Players - 1 Song
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The biggest and longest song yet.. all 222 Premier League players in one song. It's long, it's strong, it's soft and it's wrong.
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Chris Cohen - Song for Scolari
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A song for the new man at the helm at Chelsea.
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
John Terry s letter to Claude Makelele
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So John Terry didn't make the European Championships and Claude did... here's his letter to Maka...
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Chris Cohen - Stand up live at Monkey Business
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Chris' set at the Monkey Business Comedy Club in London.
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Luigi s Ballad
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This is a song for all the Luigi's out there. Happy New Year to you all!
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
The Ram s Relegation Song
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Come on the Rams!
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
I m leaving you for Evo
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I thought I'd write this song for every person who's other half doesn't understand the true meaning of Evo.
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Steve McClaren - A Tribute Song clean version
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Right from the start, you never had it in your heart When you left the Riverside, The English nation sighed…
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 2
The Ode to Ronaldo
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A song for the cheeky winker
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
The Premier League Quarter Review 08
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Just realised I rhymed back with back in the first verse.. I'm a moron! Just a quick, rough, messy song encapsulating the Premier League up until this point!
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
The Rafa Benitez Song
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Rafa, we want you to stay!
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
We all love the Hammers
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It's finally here West Ham fans!
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Brad and Stacey s Nightmare
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For the three people who requested it, it's the Brad and Stacey song......
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1
Poor Peter
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My apology song to the big man... Chris’s apology to Peter Crouch
- 08/01/2009
- Comments: 0
- Votes: 1

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About this episode

See Chris perform the hit song from the 'Off the Woodwork' EP, The Language, live in London. The EP and this song are now available to buy on iTunes!

Comments for Chris Cohen - The Language - Live in London (2)

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KurumiPhantomon 19 May 2009 14:36:36| You have reported this comment.
Cool song ^^
nerdalerton 8 January 2009 16:50:35| You have reported this comment.
Cool song and so funny the accent!!!

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Video/Clip/Movie Chris Cohen - The Language - Live in London - Cohen, Cohen, Musician, Premier League, Scolari.

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